


It’s Okay (To Say You’ve Got a Weak Spot)

by princelogical



Series: Queerplatonic Logince Verse [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Queerplatonic Relationships, Sharing a Bed, only a little tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 16:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13884579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princelogical/pseuds/princelogical
Summary: What they have, he and Logan, is weird; he can admit that. But it works and Roman wouldn’t trade it for the world.





	It’s Okay (To Say You’ve Got a Weak Spot)

Deep into the night, no earlier than 1:00 am, Roman heads down the stairs, unable to sleep and frustrated with all his failed attempts. As he reaches the bottom step, he hears quiet noise coming from the kitchen; something like a spoon sliding over the bottom of a glass cup then tapping against the rim. Then Roman hears a sigh. Silence.

Quietly, Roman creeps into the kitchen where Logan sits, fingers wrapped tightly around a dark grey coffee mug as he stares into space. Light bags smear under his eyes. A chart sits next to the coffee cup, three pencils positioned in a perfect and even line beside the paper.

“What’re you doing up, Specs?” Roman asks.

Logan glances up then his eyes settle down onto the chart. “I am trying to plan. It appears you all have let your exaggerated thinking overcome all of Thomas’ senses and worked us into a corner. We do not have enough time to publish a single video next week. I am going to have to make Thomas work overtime this week when he should be resting after the flu. However, I cannot allow him to rest, otherwise, we will be overworked next week and we have no time.”

Roman assesses Logan’s body language carefully. He’s tense, exhausted, and angry. Roman sighs and sits across from him. “He can’t overwork himself this week. He might get sick again.”

“Then when the hell is he going to have time to finish this video, Roman?” Logan snaps. “What do you propose?”

“Woah, chill out, dude. I was just saying. He’ll get sick. Or become burned out. He needs rest this week.”

“He cannot-”

“Logan.” Logan grits his teeth and glares at Roman who meets him with an equally stubborn gaze. “You, for logic, aren’t thinking very logically right now.”

“I am trying my absolute best to be logical but you all have made it nearly impossible.”

Roman reaches over and slips the half-finished coffee from Logan; he curls his own hands over it and meets Logan’s eyes. “You shouldn’t even be up.”

“Do not lecture me as if you are not awake this instant yourself.”

“Someone’s awfully testy tonight.”

“Some is grinding against my nerves like an infuriatingly- uh-”

“Poor Logan,” Roman tuts, “so tired that his insult machine broke.”

“Shut your… incorrigible mouth.”

Roman grins. “Who’s the childish one of the group? Patton… or perhaps Mr. Logic? The world may never know.”

“You speak as if you aren’t the most intolerable and childish one in this mindscape.”

“I’m not.” For good measure, Roman sips the coffee. “I think it’s bedtime for you, Logan. Before you say something you actually will regret.”

“You are in no authority to me,” Logan says, eyes bright and angry.

“Of course not,” Roman says with a sigh. “Not like I’m Prince of the mindscape or anything.”

“You are no real prince.”

Okay, well, that insult actually stings a little so Roman muffles it by sipping the coffee once again. “Words you’ll regret,” Roman sings.

The light, untamable fire in Logan’s eyes seems to die considerably and with a deep sigh, Logan drops his head into his hands and tugs at his hair. The room is silent as Roman watches Logan, waiting.

“Since when have you become the logical one between us?” Logan whispers. “My only function is to be logical and I seem to be unable to do even that.”

Roman rolls his eyes. “Please. If you think I’m more logical than you, even in the slightest, you’re more tired than I thought. And you and I both know being logical isn’t your only function.”

Logan looks up through his hands, wiping his hair aside from his face. He’s never looked so… vulnerable in front of Roman before. Roman hates himself for feeling this way but he’s almost honoured to be trusted enough for Logan to be so… open with him.

“I need to figure these things out tonight, Roman.”

“You don’t.”

“I _do_.”

“You don’t.”

Logan reaches for his coffee and Roman pulls it farther from Logan and stands up. He walks over to the sink and pours the coffee out then rinses the cup.

“Come on,” Roman says and he’s aware he’s being bossy and perhaps a little unbearable but he just wants Logan to listen and get to sleep instead of driving himself mad over a stupid schedule by himself in the kitchen.

Logan slowly rises and follows Roman to Roman’s room door. Logan sighs. “Did you wish for me to follow you?”

“Yeah,” Roman says. “You can like, sleep in my room, if you want.”

Logan crosses his arms, looking nervous and hesitant. “I do not… want to… I don’t… I do not know what I want.”

Roman doesn’t know why the words, “Want me to decide for you?” slips from his mouth but they do and Logan looks a little more shattered than he should.

Logan shrugs. “Perhaps.”

“Is that a yes?”

Logan nods.

Roman throws his arm around Logan’s shoulder and twists open his door. He walks in the dim room, arm still slung around Logan and flicks on the light switch.

“Lay down,” Roman says.

Logan glares. “Do not tell me what to do.”

Roman rolls his eyes. “I’m not.”

“You just gave me an order and you claim you are not telling me what to do?” Logan asked eyes wide in disbelief.

“Just lay down.”

Logan glares and adjusts his glasses then sits down at the edge of the bed as Roman reaches for the light switch and flicks the lights off. Roman walks over and crawls into bed, pulling himself under the heavy covers.

“You gonna sit on the bed and… contemplate philosophy or whatever you nerds do all night?” Roman asks as he rests his head on the pillows. He hears Logan sigh, take off his glasses, then adjusts himself at the bottom of the bed and before Roman can really register much, he realises Logan is sleeping at the bottom of the bed, as far from Roman as humanly possible.

“Oh my word, are you kidding me?” Roman asks, snorting out a giggle. “I don’t bite.”

“I have heard somewhere that stupidity is contagious.”

Roman burst into laughter. “Nighty night, Nerd-io.”

“Good night, Roman.”

-8-

It becomes more than a one-night thing. Roman asks every night if Logan would like to “hang out” with him for the night. Logan only turns him down every once in a while and on those times, Roman respects his decision and never pries.

Most nights are spent with Logan at the bottom of the bed and sometimes Logan rests his freezing cold feet on Roman’s chest just to infuriate him. Eventually, however, during a particularly stressful night when a migraine takes over Logan for working too hard, Logan actually lays at the top with Roman. He, as usual, is as far away from Roman as the bed allows but Roman doesn’t tease him because Logan looks like he’s being tortured from the inside out.

“Need anything?” Roman asks softly.

“No,” Logan says just as softly. His eyes remain squeezed shut. “Maybe… Could you…” Logan trails off and falls silent.

“Could I what?” Roman asks.

“I changed my mind. I am all right.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” Logan says. Roman doesn’t believe him but he lets Logan get away with it, drifting off to sleep with a grimace on his face.

After that night, Logan continues to sleep at the top of the bed, inching closer each night and before Roman can understand anything’s changed, Logan’s tucked against his chest, stiff, even in sleep. Another stressful week comes along and Logan lays in Roman’s bed, eyes squeezed shut.

“Do you mind just…” Logan slips his phone into Roman’s hands and Roman sees a diagram of the places to massage on the head to help soothe migraines. Roman is so stunned and feels so honoured, he doesn’t realise he’s been silent until Logan says quietly, “I apologise; that was not a demand. I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be sorry,” Roman says and sets to work at running his fingers gently over his head.

The next morning Logan thanks him sheepishly and asks if Roman would like anything in return. “It doesn’t work like that,” Roman says.

“Are you certain?” Logan asks.

“Positive.”

The two begin to spend time together in Roman’s room. Often quiet, drafting ideas together. Roman thinks of the ideas. Logan reviews them and is brutally honest but it’s often what Roman needs. Then they begin spending time in Logan’s room when Roman needs grounding. When he needs reality to settle in and be reminded that not everything can be accomplished in one day.

The kneeling thing is almost an accident. Logan’s mega-stressed one night, almost on the verge of tears. Roman never realised just how off-putting Logan with tears in his eyes is until he sees it.

“I need a break. You keep coming up with idea after idea and I am overwhelmed,” Logan says. “I cannot control it all; the schedule is falling apart. Everything appears to be falling apart and I… I cannot handle all of it.”

He presses a hand to his eyes, seeming to desperately try to push the tears back in his eyes where they belong. Roman wraps his arms around Logan and Logan collapses against his chest and slides down to his knees, pressing his forehead against Roman’s lower thigh. Roman doesn’t know what to say or do, really, so he reaches out, smoothing Logan’s hair back as Logan shakes.

“Breathe.” It’s one word and it’s said in the most commanding voice Roman can manage while still being kind. Logan obeys, taking deep breaths that eventually even out into regulated breathing. Logan remains on his knees, face flushed bright red.

“I would like to apologise for acting so irrationally,” Logan says quietly.

Roman shakes his head and crouches down to Logan’s level so maybe he’ll stop looking so chastised. “You’re stressed. It’s okay.”

“That does not give me an excuse to act so pathetically and snivelling at your feet…” Logan scowls. “Quite literally.”

“It’s a perfect excuse,” Roman says. “Look, if it makes you feel better, I’ve already forgotten it’s happened, okay?”

Logan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, sweeping it back into it’s neat and professional position. “All right.”

There’s nothing like having someone cry at your feet to bring two closer together, Roman thinks. After the whole situation, the two hang out even more often. They laugh together and tease each other and seem to complement each other perfectly.

One night, Logan comes into Roman’s room shaking so hard, Roman thinks he’s going to break apart. Logan stares and sighs, running a hand over his face.

“I am going to ask you something and you have permission to kick me out if I make you uncomfortable.”

Roman crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows. “Hit me. I’m positive nothing will surprise me more than Patton’s elephant-sized pizza machine from earlier.”

“Patton’s _what_?”

“Nothing,” Roman says with a grin and his expression softens. “What’s going on, Specs?”

Logan crosses his arms and resolutely glares at Roman’s bed as if it has committed some great sin. Roman wouldn’t put it past the piece of furniture; he’s fallen victim to its inescapable sheets more than too many times.

“May we…” Logan’s blush intensifies, “cuddle?”

Roman raises his eyebrows and laughs. “Sure.”

“You… are not in opposition to the idea?”

“Of course not.” Roman hops into his bed and pats a spot beside him. Logan slowly follows him and sits down, slowly arranging himself beside Roman. Roman tosses an arm around Logan and smiles when he feels his muscles relax. “Something in particular going on?”

“There is nothing in particular. I just… felt a little lonely.”

“Aw, you were missing me,” Roman says.

“I absolutely was _not_.”

“Totally were.”

Logan groans. “You are incorrigible.”

“So I’ve been told,” Roman says and pulls Logan close to him. Logan sighs deeply.

“Is there anything you would like me to do for you in return for… this?” Logan asks.

Roman frowns. “What do you mean?”

Logan swallows. “Do you want me to kiss you?” Logan asks and Roman hears the fear in his voice. As if Roman is going to expect something in return like romantic affections that he knows Logan does not want to provide. As if Logan has to pay Roman back for Roman doing something somewhat decent for him.

Roman rolls over so he’s straddling Logan and gently places his hands on Logan’s face. Logan’s eyes are wide, glasses slightly foggy. Roman can feel the pulse from Logan’s neck going haywire.

“No,” Roman says. He makes the word firm with no flowery words or metaphors or twists that Logan would have to solve. Just a simple, “no,” so Logan knows that Roman doesn’t expect a single thing from his friend.

“Thank… thank goodness,” Logan says and he sounds shaky. “I know you… I am sorry. I do not wish to offend you-”

“You’re probably not gonna,” Roman says with a chuckle.

“I just mean…” Instinctively, Logan jerks his hand up to adjust his glasses even though they don’t need to be adjusted. Roman lets him do it anyway. “I am an aromantic asexual and I know that you are not-”

Roman grins. “So you think I expect something from you?”

Logan’s face is a fiery red but he still nods. “I just thought that, perhaps, it would be cruel of me to expect you to be with me without… the typical things one gives in a relationship.”

“I love you,” Roman says. Logan’s face goes even darker red and Roman can’t help the fond smile prying at his mouth. “And what we have is good. I like it. I like what we are. Whatever it is.”

Roman feels Logan’s breath catch from under him and he swipes his thumbs softly over Logan’s cheekbones as Logan looks off, evidentially trying to find something appropriate to say. “Do you…” Logan swallows. “Do you have romantic feelings for me?”

“No. No offence.”

Logan hesitantly smiles. “Do you have sexual feelings for me?”

“No.”

“I am not… hindering you from your sexual or romantic expression?”

Roman smiles even brighter. “Absolutely not.”

“What are we then?” Logan asks.

Roman sighs. He knows Logan’s desire to put a name to everything, to label it all, and to explain it all with some long-winded definition. It’s comforting to him but at this moment, Roman can’t give him a name.

“Friends?” Roman says.

Logan laughs. “We are obviously more than friends. I feel differently with you than with anyone I have ever called a friend before. However, it’s not romantic or sexual. I cannot explain it.” Logan goes to pull his hair and that’s a nervous habit Roman won’t let him indulge in, so he gently captures his wrists and pins them against Logan’s chest.

“Breathe,” he orders. Logan obeys, taking deep breaths and shutting his eyes as if trying to block out a physical form of panic. “Not everything needs a name, does it?”

“Virgil and Patton will ask and-”

Roman cuts him off there. “We’ll figure it out, Logan. Relax.”

Logan does; letting his body relax from under Roman. Roman settles his chin on Logan’s chest and listens to the heartbeat that slows as the time passes. He finds himself worrying because God, what if Virgil and Patton do ask? And what if they… _judge_? Roman doesn’t like that thought.

A hand reaches his own hair and it’s awkward and inexperienced but it pats Roman’s head gently like it’s trying and it brings literal tears to Roman’s eyes.

“You should try to breathe as well… and relax.”

Roman forces himself to take deep breaths and focuses on the rhythmic patting that Logan’s doing to his hair. “I will find a name for it,” Roman says quietly. “I’ll try.”

“What if we cannot find a name?”

Roman considers this and finally says, “Then we will be fine. I know we will.”

-8-

It’s 4:23 pm when Roman’s sketching in his room and Logan knocks. The knock is shaky, nervous, and Roman stands nervously, prepared to deal with a nervous or overworked or possibly burnt out Logan.

“May I come in, Roman?” Logan asks. His voice is monotone as always.

“Come on in.”

Logan twists the knob and stands, holding his phone with a shaking hand. But Roman realises, there’s a barely concealed smile on Logan’s face. “I have something to discuss with you.”

“Okay?” Roman says and smiles, shoving his sketches gently aside to make room for Logan to sit at the edge of the bed, spine perfectly straight.

“I found a word for it,” Logan says, unlocking his phone. “I did a great deal of research on the subject of relationships amongst those in the asexual and aromantic community. There is a type of relationship called a ‘queerplatonic relationship,’ which is described as a relationship that is not romantic but involves a close emotional connection, platonic, beyond what most people consider friendship. The commitment level in a queerplatonic relationship is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship.” Logan lowers his phone with a smile. “There’s a word for it.”

Roman grins back. “There’s a word for it.”

“Do you… mind identifying our relationship under that label?”

“I don’t mind at all,” Roman says, grin not faltering. He wraps an arm around Logan and tugs him into his side. “You Gucci?”

“Yes, I am quite… Gucci.” Logan takes a deep breath. “I think that we should consider notifying Virgil, Patton, and Thomas.”

“Of what?” Roman asks.

“Our… relationship. We do not have to, however, I would think that they would like to know and not assume something else.”

Roman finds that the worry nearly consumes him; what if they judge? What if they think that what the two of them have isn’t valid? But it’s highly unlikely. Thomas is one of the kindest people Roman knows. So is Patton. And Virgil doesn’t judge based on sexuality. None of them do.

He takes a deep breath. “We can tell them.”

“Are you certain that is what you wish? If you are not comfortable doing so, we do not have to tell them-”

Roman meets Logan’s eyes and smiles again, taking his hand. “I’m not gonna lie. I’m a little nervous. But we can tell them.”

Logan smiles in return and goes to adjust his glasses; it’s oddly comforting that Logan is nervous too. “You… well. You told me you loved me the other day and I am not the best at expressing my feelings. However, I… I love you too.”

Roman thinks his face will crack with how much he’s smiling. He squeezes Logan’s hand.

“Well, makes sense. I’m hard not to.”

Logan laughs and it’s a beautiful sound. Maybe what he and Logan have together isn’t quite normal or accepted, Roman thinks, but it’s good. He needs it. Logan needs it. And they’re not going to let their nerves tear it apart because it’s beautiful, odd as it might be.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this all in one sitting as well as edited and revised it. In. One. Sitting. Four hours later, my back aches, I have to pee, and I am exhausted. Hope you all enjoy! Feedback would be nice! :P


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